9.19.2007

Clarification and thank-yous


I just want to make a note about why I've started and deleted several blogs for my poems and why I've disallowed comments on this blog and on my current poetry-blog, Ignotus. I think that essentially I'm antisocial, I'm not comfortable with the whole idea of networking, and I'm totally unable to self-promote. In over six years of activity online I've successfully blended in at only two places. The first was at an Iwon chat group where I became somewhat popular with the name IkilledElmo. Eventually I got bored with chat-rooms - although they allowed me socialize like a normal person for a little while - and discovered the world of Internet bulletin boards. I've joined probably well over a dozen of these places but became pretty well-established at only one of them: The Poetry-Free-For-All at everypoet.net. Bela Selendy, the generous man behind everypoet, started a thing called the Amplifier which allowed members to have a little place of their own in which to post poems, pictures, what have you. I got something going but gave up after a while and deleted my spot, twice. There didn't seem to be much point in doing it.

This was before the blogging craze. I started a blog or two at MSN and deleted them both. Then I got one going at Blogger until a very kind soul, Rob Mackenzie, from PFFA, discovered it and told a few others about it. He linked to me and I linked back to him. I linked to several other blogs run by fellow PFFAers and was linked back to by one or two others besides Rob. The majority of people I linked to did not link back to me. They were either not aware that I had linked to them or they didn't wish to return the favor for whatever reason. Before long I decided my blog wasn't drumming up any interest, despite Rob's valiant efforts on my behalf, and I deleted it. I started up another which was again discovered by Rob and linked to by him. I made a few comments at his blog and he left one or two at mine. This felt too compulsory to me, too much like protocol. I visited other blogs and made a few comments, but by and large I thought the whole thing was pointless. So I deleted my blog yet again. At this point Rob realized that he was wasting his time trying to get me into the loop. I wasn't going to get into it and that was that. I'll grant that I'm anti-social and a bit paranoid, but it seems to me that what drives the blogging world is self-promotion. If you can't self-promote you will fail, unless you are inordinately talented. I can't self-promote. I'm not humble, mind you, just insecure, hypersensitive (yes, Rachel), neurotic, and passive to a fault. I want to make that plain.

I keep these two blogs at Blogger going mainly because it offers a professional-looking format in which to put my stuff. If someone stumbles on something I've written and likes it well enough (or hates it enough) they can send me an email. I don't see the point in allowing comments since the majority of comments I've received are spam: a little soap to my back and a nudge: hey, soap my back too? How pointless.

I'm not afraid of someone disagreeing with my ideas or finding my commentary stupid or offensive. I participate at Internet Infidels, a secular board where I post as WilliamB, and most of what is contained in this blog was posted there; indeed, many of my posts here are lifted verbatim, with minor alterations, from that board. I'm perfectly willing to defend my views and have done so, in public and in private. The same applies to my poems. Some of the stuff on Ignotus was posted at PFFA or Eratosphere. I am not afraid of harsh, objective critique and have deliberately sought it out. But if I allow comments at either blog and begin the whole process of networking via comments and links once again, I'm certain that I would regret it. I'm just no good at that sort of thing. And, to be completely honest, I find most blogs boring, even those whose subjects are similar to my own. For this reason I expect people to find my blogs boring as well.

Before I forget, I want to thank Rob MacKenzie for his efforts to drum up interest in my poems. At this point he remains one of three people who have gone out of their way for me. Timothy Murphy and David Anthony, from Eratosphere, are the other two. I'm not complaining. After all, I never expected anyone to go out of their way for me since I've gone out of my way for exactly no-one (net-wise that is). These three gentlemen are quite successful and have published poetry to critical acclaim, and I'm grateful to them. Rob's blog is one of the most successful blogs going. I sincerely don't know how he does it, but I wish him all the luck in the world. Not that he'll need it.